FUNNY DIET JOKES

DIET JOKES GALORE AND MORE!!!

 HOORAY FOR ME!!! I now have over umpteen thousand DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES and growing fatter each day: a lifelong collection of 65-years plus compiled by DANIEL WORONA "Rara Avis" (RARE BIRD).

 Plus-plus thousand's of ORIGINAL diet humor sayings, diet ditties, diet jokes and quotes, obesity jokes, and fat jokes by Daniel L. Worona "RaraAvis" (RARE BIRD).

A PEERLESS DIET HUMOR COLLECTION compiled by DANIEL L. WORONA

(PEERLESS: without equal; unrivaled.)

 You are enjoying Daniel Worona's #1, world-famous diet humor collection, which I will share with YOU.... "SOME SUNNY DAY...YEAH, YEAH, YEAH."

"LAUGH IT OFF" DIET.

(It's a funny way to lose weight.)

 Dear Copycats: The phrase “LAUGH IT OFF” existed long before I was born nearly 80 years ago, however, I (Daniel L. Worona) was the first one to use the phrase LAUGH IT OFF as a “DIET PUN” and a "DIET SLOGAN."

WEIGHT LOSS HUMOR:

ONE WHO INDULGES

BULGES.

HE WHO STUFFETH..

PUFFETH!

PRACTICE GIRTH CONTROL.

LOOSE LIPS,

BROAD HIPS.

OBESITY IS REALLY WIDESPREAD.

WORIGINAL DAN WORONA

I HAVE TO EXERCISE EARLY IN THE MORNING BEFORE MY BRAIN FIGURES OUT WHAT I AM DOING.

Weight-loss advice to an obese patient: "LET'S KEEP IT SIMPLE...JUST EAT THE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE."

 -Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona

 (PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

FUNNY DIET HUMOR & FUNNY DIET JOKES Compiled by Dan Worona "RARA AVIS." ("RARE BIRD")

MIRRORS NEVER LIE...LUCKY FOR YOU THEY DON'T LAUGH EITHER.

DIET JOKEROOS:

 FRIEND, DO YOU SUFFER FROM AN OVERACTIVE FORK? DON'T WEIGHT! DIET NOW!

 --Daniel Worona

DIETING: BREAKING THE POUND BARRIER.

MY BODY IS A TEMPLE, WITH AMPLE PARKING IN THE REAR.

PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MY DIET HUMOR SITE:  (Please write it down, and remember, all lowercase letters.)

REMEMBER: The longer it takes for me to find a major publisher, the longer you will have to wait, and wait, and WEIGHT to enjoy my DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES: a 65-year plus collection.

Why do I need a literary agent and a publisher?: Because... I COULDN'T SELL A LIFEBOAT ON THE TITANIC, however, I am the foremost DIET HUMOR collector in the world. My area of expertise is collecting DIET HUMOR, not publishing.

1.] THE WEIGH TO GO?

TO LOSE WEIGHT FAST... FAST.

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

2.] THE MOST FATTENING THING YOU CAN PUT IN AN APPLE PIE IS A SPOON.

3.] AN APPLE PIE WITHOUT SOME CHEESE IS LIKE A KISS WITHOUT A SQUEEZE.

4.] WHEN YOU DIET

     PLEASE BE QUIET.

5.] TASTE MAKES WAIST.

GUESS WHAT?

Scientists have discovered that leaving clothes in dark closets over a long period of time causes shrinkage. Women on diets already knew that!!!

 THERE IS NOTHING LIGHT ABOUT CELLULITE.

NO DIET IS IMPOSSIBLE, HOPELESS MAYBE, BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE.

TOO MANY SQUARE MEALS MAKE ROUND PEOPLE.

A MIDDLE AGE SPREAD IS THE RESULT OF TOO MANY NIGHTS 'ROUND THE TABLE.

WHEN YOU CHEAT ON YOUR DIET, YOU GAIN IN THE "END."

DON'T WAIL ON THE SCALE IF YOU CHEAT WHEN YOU EAT.

EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY, FOR TOMORROW WE DIET.

EXAMPLE: Here is my word play definition of hunger.

HUNGER: AN EMPTY FEELING.

 Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

The obesity epidemic: OBESITY IS A GROWING PROBLEM.

--Daniel L. Worona

OVEREATING HAS HEAVY CONSEQUENCES.

-Woriginal Daniel Worona

OBESITY DITTY:

OVEREATERS WILL EVENTUALLY PAY A HEAVY PRICE.

WORIGINAL DANIEL WORONA

GET THE PICTURE?

I HAVE A "GOLD MINE" OF DIET HUMOR AND DIET JOKES, HOWEVER, THIS COLLECTION WILL REMAIN "BURIED" UNTIL IT IS PROPERLY PUBLISHED IN BOOK FORM.

DIET HUMOURWHAT IS THE BEST DIET EXERCISE FOR LOSING WEIGHT?

EXERCISE A LITTLE SELF-CONTROL.  

-Woriginal by Dan Worona

DIET HUMORIST, DIET GURU, FITNESS, OBESITY AND WELLNESS EXPERT DANIEL L. WORONA

Experience: Daniel Worona "RARA AVIS" ("Rare Bird") is a diet guru, obesity and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing). He has been "well taught." His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, linguist and diet humorist.

Thank you,

Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" (danworona.50megs.com)

E-MAIL: You may contact me at: dworona@yahoo.com

 (Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail.)

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

THOSE WHO FUDGE, PUDGE.

--Dan Worona

After noticing how slim and trim my husband had become, a friend asked me how I had persuaded him to diet. It was then I shared my secret: “I put our teenage son’s shorts in his underwear drawer.

DIET PRAYER by diet specialist Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

Dear God,

So far, so good. I've done very well today, and have been on my best behavior. I haven't eaten any junk food, haven't eaten any candy or sweets, haven't raided the refrigerator, and haven't sat around munching and watching TV. I'm really thrilled about that!

 But in a few moments, God, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help with my diet.

Thank you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona “Rara Avis”

FUNNY BOOK TITLES:

EATING DISORDERS by ANNA REXIA

HOW TO GAIN WEIGHT by ELLIE FUNT

ITALIAN FOOD by PEPE RONI

MEAT EATERS by CARNEY VORE

LOW-FAT HOG RECIPES by LENA BACON

CONTINENTAL BREAKFASTS by ROLAND BUTTER

FUNNY DIET BOOKS:

LOSE WEIGHT NOW

by Y. B. Phatt

LOSE WEIGHT NOW (WHY WEIGHT?)

by Daniel L. Worona

COPYRIGHT Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

(Online since: June 7, 1999.)

 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

No one can even come close to duplicating Daniel L. Worona’s 65-year plus PEERLESS DIET HUMOR collection.

I have collected thousands oof DIET HUMOR sayings. The DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKES collection is growing fatter every day. 

It is a ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!!!

NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT:

If you borrow from this DIET HUMOR Web site, at least have the decency to give DANIEL L. WORONA his due credit.

LEGAL NOTICE:

 NOTE: Any material and/or DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR you borrow from this Website may only be used for "NON-COMMERCIAL" purposes.

Thank you very much,

Dan Worona

LAUGH IT OFF DIET.

IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

COPYRIGHT  Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").

(Online since: June 7, 1999.)

The world's #1 DIET HUMOR Website for A QUARTER-CENTURY [25 consecutive years].

MY DIET HUMOR WEBSITE CONTAINS MORE THAN TWENTY PAGES OF DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES.

TO VISIT MY NUMBER ONE DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES WEBSITE:

THE WEBSITE ADDRESS IS: danworona.50megs.com

OR USING A SEARCH ENGINE: DAN WORONA + DIET HUMOR.

IT IS THE NUMBER ONE DIET HUMOR WEBSITE ON MOST MAJOR SEARCH ENGINES.

Don't forget to visit my world-famous DIET HUMOR and CHOCOLATE HUMOR Web site: www.danworona.50megs.com

This has been the #1 DIET HUMOR Web site in the world for a quarter-century.

Daniel l. Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF DIET.

IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

THE WORLD’S FATTEST DIET HUMOR COLLECTION

It is a lifelong collection of more than 65 years. 

COPYRIGHT by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").  
(Online since: June 7, 1999.)

DIET JOKES compiled by DAN WORONA:

FITNESS & RUNNING JOKE:

LIFE IS SHORT.

(Running makes it seem longer.)

 HASTA LA PASTA, AMIGO!