More than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS AND DIET JOKES: a 55-year plus collection. I hope you will take time to enjoy and laugh off a few calories by visiting my world-famous DIET HUMOR SAYINGS AND DIET JOKES Web site. It has been the #1 DIET HUMOR Web site for nearly twenty (20 years.
Please click on this active ("HOT") link to go there now:
Here is a tasty sample from my DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKES Web site: SOME PEOPLE ARE NO GOOD AT COUNTING CALORIES.... --AND HAVE THE FIGURES TO PROVE IT.
DISCLAIMER: If any of these FOOD, DRINK, COFFEE, or DIET HUMOR SAYINGS & JOKES are in breach of copyright, I will willingly delete them and/or give proper credit.
IMAGE CREDITS: 1. COFFEE CUP: GLADSTONE.UOREGON.EDU
2. COFFEE SIGN: METAFILTER.COM
3. COFFEE CUPS AND POT: STENCILWITHSTYLE.COM
Coffee joke: I TOOK MY WIFE OUT FOR AN EIGHT-COURSE DINNER... A SEVEN-LAYER CAKE AND COFFEE.
COFFEE PRAYER (a.k.a. THE 23rd CUP)
Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake in green pastures;
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz.
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake.
Yeah, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Addiction,
I'll fear no Equal for thou art with me;
Thy cream and thy flavorings they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez.
Thou anointest my days with vigor; my mug runneth over.
Surely flavor and aroma shall follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the House of Maxwell forever, and ever.
YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN:
YOU CAN THREAD A SEWING MACHINE... WHILE IT IS RUNNING!!!
COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
He has "searched the world" for more than 55-years for diet humor / humour, diet ditties, diet limericks, weight-loss humor, fat humour and diet slang. Daniel Worona has thousand's of original and unpublished diet humor sayings, diet cartoons, and diet word plays. NO ONE CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO DULICATING THIS NONESUCH DIET HUMOR COLLECTION.
This is the FATTEST and best diet humor / humour collection in the world!!!
WORST CASE SCENARIO:
If for some reason my lifelong collection of more than 33,333.33 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.
Who loses? Not me! YOU DO!!! BIG-TIME!!!
Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it.
SEEKING LITERARY AGENT AND PUBLISHER: Please e-mail me if you can help.
MY E-MAIL ADDRESS:
Yes, I will read your e-mail and diet jokes if you include the words FOOD HUMOR or DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.
Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: firstname.lastname@example.org.